I found this note written on one of my articles about identity earlier today. It pretty much sums up everything I’ve been thinking and feeling about school work/thesis lately. I was planning on waiting until I felt like I’d really grasped these stories before I shared some of them but that’s not as fun and there’s a lot to comprehend so here’s one of my very favorites, a first of many stories from my trip:
“When I was in high school, I would basically give sex away for free because that’s how I thought I was gonna get a boyfriend. Then after awhile it wasn’t workin.’ It was then when I sat at my first brothel and the first time I got picked I was like, “You’re gonna pay me for this? And you think I’m funny? And you think I’m pretty?” And I thought, “This is like taking candy from a baby! This is so easy! Wow!” And then it actually built my self-esteem. You would think it would do the opposite right? It would cut you down? It made me feel like, “Oh my god, these guys are pickin’ me and they think I’m pretty. Wow!” Never did I ever expect to feel this way. Ever.”
This story is from a woman named Robin (that’s not her real name #anonymous ) who had been in the industry for over 15 years. It’s one of my favorites. Prior to the trip, I had a lot of expectations for what confidence and self-esteem could and would be rooted in and for her to stand there so proud yet so open and honest was incredibly eye opening. Her story really flipped all of my prior understandings about this work on its head. Robin was one of the first interviews I did and she really welcomed me with open arms. Rereading our conversation is one of my favorite parts of processing all of this info. She provided such delicate insight into the work and this little bit has really stuck with me. Honestly, all of this gets better everyday.
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